I moved to Ohio about a year ago this past August to be with my fiance, Michelle. In order to do this, I packed up a 24 ft. long truck to the gills, and made the 14+ hour drive with my fiance, my dog, our 2 ferrets, and our fish. It was not an easy drive; the length of the drive alone made the trip arduous, not to mention the fact I had just enough time to load the truck, drive it to Ohio, and unload it again, all without sleep, in order to return the vehicle on time, which basically meant staying awake for 3 days. Because of money and time limitations, I was forced to take the Pennsylvania Turnpike, something I normally avoid like the plague, both because I hate driving on crowded roads, and because the turnpike is basically one big ticket farm – in other words, all it takes to get pulled over is driving with an out-of-state plate.
Despite my reluctance, I took the only route that would allow me to get where I was going with the funds and time available to me. I knew it was a risk, but I never speed, and hoped I would be able to get into Ohio before a hungry ticket-jockey decided to make me a victim. Sadly, this turned out not to be the case: as I crested a hill in western Pennsylvania, the load in the truck shifted as it began the downgrade, and the truck’s speed jumped by over ten miles an hour in a matter of a few seconds. I immediately braked to within the speed limit, but it was not enough for Officer Dickhole, who jumped at the opportunity to write another ticket, and pulled me over into a crowded work zone to ticket me (because it’s all about safety, you know), despite the fact that I had been ‘speeding’ for less than 5 seconds. The ‘officer’ (and I use the word VERY loosely), said ‘we’re ticketing everyone we can.” Not ‘everyone who deserves it’, mind you, but ‘everyone we can’.
An interesting choice of words, wouldn’t you say?
Despite my attempt to explain the situation, the cop was determined to get his pound of flesh/control-fix, so I abandoned reason and niceties, as they were wasted on this creature, took the ticket, and resumed my journey. After I had arrived in Ohio, and unloaded the truck, I decided to forego another habit, always appearing in court, as the court in question was about 6 hours away. The cost of proving my innocence would be greater than simply paying the ticket (which they count on, as a lucrative income stream), and I could not afford such a cost. So, I paid the ticket by money order (I had yet to set up a bank account in Ohio) and thought the matter was done.
But I was wrong.
A few months later, after pulling a late shift at work, I was pulled over again – only to find my earlier payment to the court in Pennsylvania had never been posted to my account, and had instead suspended my license. This naturally meant that I was some kind of menacing threat to society, and was taken to the lockup at Upper Sandusky, where I had to pay $300 to be released (another scam) so I could walk the 16+ miles back home (because again, it’s all about safety), along a dark road.
In the end, I had to pay the original ticket a SECOND time, and go to court for the driving on a suspended license charge.
The court case was dismissed, but I had to pay another $125 for ‘court costs’. So, in order to avoid having to suffer through the same asinine bullshit a second time, I asked the court ‘is there is anything else I need to do to keep this from happening again? I cannot afford for this to happen again.” The court told me that since I had repaid the original ticket, I was ‘free and clear to drive again”.
They neglected to tell me you have to pay yet another fee to have your license restored, something that I had never encountered before, and is something of yet another scam to separate taxpayers from their hard-earned money.
Always a careful driver, I managed to avoid the ever-hungry clutches of the courts for several more months, despite the weekly to almost-daily trips to Toledo, to visit Michelle and our new baby, Savannah.
Now comes the fun part.
Michelle’s water broke ten weeks early, and she had been on bed rest at Toledo Children’s Hospital. It had been a difficult road; Michelle had originally been destined to have twins, but lost one due to what is known as TRAP sequence (twin reverse arterial perfusion). She was in the hospital for four weeks before having a c-section to deliver our little girl, who was then put in the NICU, as is customary for early arrivals. As is also customary, she was given a prescription for Percoset to help with her post-surgery pain.
After the baby was born, Michelle was staying at the Ronald McDonald House to help care for her. I had gotten a temporary job at Hearthside (which I called ‘cookie hell’), pulling 12 hour shifts on a cookie assembly line, to make ends meet. So, when I wasn’t putting in a 15 hour day at work, I was putting in 20 hour days at the hospital. During this period, it snowed an average of twice a week, with the temperature hovering around zero or below.
Sounds like fun, right? But wait, it gets better.
Whenever I visited Michelle, I would help her take all the necessary items back and forth between the hospital and the RMH, including baby clothes, a breast pump and accessories, a diaper bag, her medications, and other sundry items. On one such occasion, I had to leave straight from the hospital, rather than from the RMH, in order to make it home in time to make it to work. In the hurry to get home, we both forgot that her pain medication was in my bag. We were unaware of this until I arrived home, and unpacked the bag. I had to work, and could not just turn around and make another trip, so I called Michelle, who told me her pain was manageable (not non-existent, but merely manageable, mind you), and that I could bring the medicine when I returned to the hospital.
Sadly, this would never happen. As I was making my return trip to the hospital, I was pulled over again by a double-digit IQ moron in the Rising Sun, Ohio, police department. Officer Numb-Nuts had the gall to say I was doing 59 in a 45 zone – even though I was STILL IN THE 55 MPH ZONE WHEN HE PASSED ME. The truth notwithstanding, Trooper Numbnuts holds fast to his lie, and then informs me that my license is STILL suspended – DESPITE HAVING PAID THE FUCKING TICKET TWICE AND DIRECTLY ASKING THE COURT FOR INFORMATION IN ORDER TO AVOID THIS EXACT SCENARIO.
Now, this half-witted goon tells me he is going to tow my car, and when I exhibit the EXPECTED amount of distress, considering the circumstances, threatens to charge me with ‘disorderly conduct’. I’m forced out of my vehicle, my belongings are searched, and naturally, this idiot just about shits himself with glee when he finds the prescription bottle for my fiance. He and his partner (whom I will call Chuckles) then handcuffed me, and put me in the back of their vehicle. I was in severe pain, as my job had exacerbated injuries I received twelve years ago as a victim of a hit and run (another case in which a piece of shit wearing a badge and a gun abused his position), and Officer Numbnuts and Chuckles thought this was funny as hell. They made a point of showing just how fun and funny it was for me to be in excruciating pain, while they joked between themselves, and attempted to see just how much they could charge me with, namely, NINE COUNTS OF FELONY DRUG POSSESSION.
One count for EACH PILL.
Yeah, that’s right. You’re not dreaming. Apparently, if your child, mother, father, spouse, or other loved one is bed-ridden, dying or in extreme pain, and you pick up their prescription, SOME ASSHOLE NEANDERTHAL CAN CHARGE YOU WITH A FELONY, STRIP YOU OF YOUR RIGHTS, AND LOCK YOU IN A CAGE.
Which is exactly what these fine, upstanding pillars of stupidity did. Fuck the fact that a woman, who lost a twin, was in need of her LEGALLY PRESCRIBED MEDICATION. Fuck the fact that THESE MISERABLE EXCUSES FOR POLICE FALSIFIED THEIR REPORT – TWICE (they later tried to say I was doing 61 in a 45, which their own dashcam video would prove to be bogus).
Fuck the fact that both the Pennsylvania and Upper Sandusky Courts WERE INCOMPETANT OR NEGLIGENT IN THEIR DUTIES.
Oh no – none of this mattered to the wonderful corner of hell known as ‘law enforcement’.
I was not about to take this sitting down. I made the prosecution know that not only I would I embarrass them in court – I would make their stupidity not only a national issue, but a life crusade to bring this kind of idiocy into the light – and kill it.
Their response? They dropped the charges. After I lost a day in jail, another day in court, my camera ($250, never given back) and my fiance’s medication, as there WAS NEVER A CRIME COMMITTED, AND THEREFORE HER PROPERTY WAS ILLEGALLY CONFISCATED.
So, my good readers, we need to fight back. In this age of blatant incompetence and corruption of the part of law enforcement, in this day of our Constitutional and Civil Rights being shredded by an emerging Fascist Police State, we need to protect our rights and our persons. Always drive the speed limit, wear your seat belt, and RECORD EVERY ENCOUNTER WITH POLICE. Only by exposing evil to the light, can it be vanquished.
Oh, and avoid Rising Sun, Ohio (and all of Wood County) like the fucking plague, because their cops are dicks, who will stoop at NOTHING to pad their own records, even if it means being a lying sack of shit.
Listening to: Archer crack wise
Reading: words that I write
Watching: Archer Season 4 DVD
Drinking: Half and Half